As I watch my grandchildren hopelessly addicted to their I phones I fell an aching in my heart. We live an isolated life out in the "boonies" and only infrequently see them. My aging desk top is our connection to the outside world. When the grand kids come for some reason or other my Wi fi miraculously goes down. The reaction of the younger ones is like watching an alcoholic or drug addict drying out. To get them to do anything other than sit in the corner and cry and moan about it is crushing. How will they survive? My oldest grandson lived with us for several months. He was taught the value of work as well as the enjoyment of true nature. You could see him analyzing our life style and it was a joy to watch him evolve. The kids started out on this path but as they moved on to city life they changed. Their kids were largely ignored in the daily grind to survive. I phones at 6 years old replaced mod and dad. They could fire up a DVD player at four years old but couldn't even talk! Two of them weren't even potty-trained at this age. The oldest one is successfully starting his adult life which I would like to think is a result of our examples we set for him. He is productive and on the way to starting his own family. The old ways weren't perfect but they appear to be better than the new. Please forgive the ramblings of an old man who looks to the past with an aching heart. Peace to everyone.
...Part 1 - What a sad, poorly conceived essay. The worst part is that I agree with about 95% of what the writer has proposed. The education system is corrupt, but then again our entire society is corrupt. There is bad parenting everywhere, from Walmart to Neiman Marcus. The over use of the ADHD tag...and the overuse of drugs is terrible. But for the life of me, I do not understand this adult fascination with beating your child, and I marvel at the corrupt narrative of the digital world being harmful. Let's start with the "discipline" canard. The writer doesn't even know what the word discipline means. Look up the word discipline, and you will find something similar to this..."Discipline shares the root with the word “disciple.” It means to teach or to guide. It does not mean to control or punish". In the adult workplace, when an employee is not performing...does the Boss walk up and "spank" the employee? No...because that's called assault. An employee who is not performing or breaks a rule undergoes "The Disciplinary Process". This is called the coaching, counseling and disciplinary process. It is designed to find solutions to performance issues and to teach, or learn about performing better. During this process Management explains the employee's performance failure and seeks reasons to explain the poor performance. In some cases, this process uncovers failure at the management level, and results in positive changes in the work environment. If you ask an employee why their uniform is always dirty, and they tell you it's because they only have one uniform...good management realizes they have failed, and they insure the employee has 5 uniforms. Thus the performance problem is solved. Other times...management learns something that helps them to better manage the employee, and allows for a shared understanding of what is expected in the future. As one goes through this process, if the problem doesn't get resolved, another meeting will take place where the employee is informed again about their performance issues, and are warned of the consequences of their failure to improve, including suspension or termination. No one beats or assaults anyone. So why is it when it comes to kids, so many adult's first impulse is to beat their child? It's as if the adult is acknowledging that the child is smarter than they, and the only way to "control" the child is to assault them? To the adult abuser...immediate compliance is more important than the development of their child. It's as if they haven't the talent or patience to develop their child in the way they think and act...so let's just beat the child? This writer thinks it's just dandy to beat their child with a "spoon". In other words, she likes to use fear to inspire her child towards better behavior. She is incapable of properly communicating with the child, setting reasonable behavior expectations and boundaries that help to develop the child to think and act on their own, using their developed judgement to decide what is right or wrong. The beating threat is the use of fear to gain compliance. That may work for a while, but then the child learns to lie after they misbehave and become adults who act out of a Child Ego State, never willing to accept responsibility and always blaming others for their negative outcomes. Eventually the child becomes bigger than the adult, and they will physically challenge the parent's authority. Then the child will grow to think of themselves as "alright"...and they too will take pride in beating their child. The dysfunctional cycle then repeats for generations. As a child, I and my siblings were beaten beyond measure. My Father was a six-foot-nine-inch, 350 pound, alcoholic, corrupt Cop, and my Mother an insane, corrupt Court Clerk. My father would beat us with his police or personal belt, his nightstick or black jack...and had a habit of throwing things at the kids, including spearing us in the back with boards, tools and his huge leather shoes. My Mother was also a lover of beating the kids with those wooden spoons, as well as fly swatters, coat hangers, hot wheels tracks, belts, shoes and other kitchen utensils. That was when she wasn't squeezing bottles of liquid ivory soap down our throats. When I was 14 years old, and bigger than she...I grabbed the flyswatter out of her hand and told her if she ever touched me again, I'd kill her where she stood. Three years later she tried that one more time ...and the look of fear in her eyes was priceless. The last time I spoke to my Mom I was 25. She lived to be 82, and we never spoke. My Dad died when I was 21, and we never had any kind of meaningful relationship. I raised three children...and never raised my hand or voice to any of them. All three kids are doing great...and so I just don't get this need to beat your child? It's so counter-productive, as the first time you beat or demean the child from your Parental Ego State, you break the most precious thing between you...trust. As far as the digital issues, again...I just don't get it. It is as if adults are afraid of evolution. Back in the day...long, long ago...books were often considered rare tools of evil to some. Then Gutenberg came along and books became valuable tools for learning. For a long while, books and music were the only forms of entertainment, and then "moving pictures" came along. I can't think of too many modern people who consider good films to be "dangerous", but back then...plenty of people claimed it was the Devil's work! Same for The Radio. When we were kids...our parents would stick us in front of the TV and force us to watch stupid cartoons for hours. I don't think the cartoons harmed us, but I don't think they helped me learn algebra either. So what is it with the fear of digital technology? Yes, it should be monitored and controlled for the age and development of the child, but learning to use the technology only advances the child's development. Imagine a child of today, who 20 years from now can't use a keyboard, a mouse, a computer or other digital technology? Also, imagine that same child who is exposed to such tech in a structured manner, and how far ahead of his peers they will be as they grow and develop. A good parent can use such technology to develop their child...and in the case of younger kids, to withhold access to the tech in instances where they misbehave. Now that's a "Time Out" that really means something to them. Please quit beating your kids. Learn to be better "Disciples"...and learn that beatings or blind, immediate compliance isn't development. Be safe.
Terrific commentary, I love it! You're right on target. The steady decline you describe so well is the convergence of (1) mesmerizing technology, (2) increasing dependence on psychotropic drugs that cause more harm than benefit, and (3) an INTENTIONAL eroding of and attack on high level qualities such as personal responsibility and accountability, honor, integrity, genuine competence (as opposed to the superficial "influencer" facade), reading comprehension, wisdom, spirituality, and recognition that right and wrong do exist objectively. This third set of factors has been and continues to be created by a tiny but powerful percentage of twisted, depraved lunatics in education, politics and medicine. Their influence is all out of proportion to their numbers; unfortunately, the majority pf people accept and submit to their insanities - leading to our current Bizarro World.
We do children a great disservice when misbehavior is not connected with immediate consequences. Whole generations have been deprived of that insight and the collapse around us is the result.
Yes, I did raise them. The oldest joined the military. By the time he was discharged he was an alcoholic pot head. Alcohol and drugs are something we never ever did. The youngest suffered a severe head injury in an industrial accident. We still support him as much as we can. After the head injury his wife threw him out not wanting to live with what she referred to as "a retard". The kids have been taught to treat him with contempt and she openly defies court ordered visitation rights. We are denied any access to the kids. Ignoramuses like you never look for the whole story just the parts that support your prejudices.
anytime I got out of line I got a boot in the ass smacked in the face or hit with a broom (my mother) and I dont care what anybody says I say that was the right way
Disagree completely on the "spanking spoon," but agree with the overall premise and facts of this piece. As I've asked too many times to count over the last many years, "Who's 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 these people??"
My 8-year older sister raised me while my RN mother brought home some extra income for the family, retiring to housewife before I noticed. She and my mother started reading to me as soon as I was home from the hospital maternity ward and kept doing so until I could read to them. I entered first grade reading at a third grade level with a junior high vocabulary. My sister assured me that I was spanked a lot before I could be reasoned with, at which point spankings were suspended. I like Temple Grandin on ADHD and Asperger's.
We’re in our 80’s have raised three families the last leaving in our 70’s; ourselves raised obviously in the fifties. Very conflicted parenting issue amongst our 50’s peer, parents were quite imperfect then as well, however due to gross lack of technology we had to ‘make do’ on our own, and did we. Two parents, one working was helpful but my memory was that often we raised ourselves. Today kids our ‘raised’ by others, tech-others, godless instruments of distraction. Today we know a number of home-schooled families and ‘faith’, sacrifice and common sense is an active and effective component raising their very psychologically and well educated kids; God bless your humble spirit.
You are so right!! Our children were raised with love and expectations. We always had dinner together and family time. At bedtime we had reading time. We read to them and later they read to us. When they misbehaved, they were punished, sometimes with a spanking.
Big Pharma seems to have found a medication for every misbehavior. Interestingly we are now discovering that vaccines may indeed be the cause of many of the chronic conditions children suffer including autism, ADHD and many others. Read “Turtles All the Way Down”, written by another anonymous Israeli scientists. Anonymous to remain I cancelled. Also read “The Real Anthony Fauci” by Robert F Kennedy, Jr. Both explain the vaccine myths.
As I watch my grandchildren hopelessly addicted to their I phones I fell an aching in my heart. We live an isolated life out in the "boonies" and only infrequently see them. My aging desk top is our connection to the outside world. When the grand kids come for some reason or other my Wi fi miraculously goes down. The reaction of the younger ones is like watching an alcoholic or drug addict drying out. To get them to do anything other than sit in the corner and cry and moan about it is crushing. How will they survive? My oldest grandson lived with us for several months. He was taught the value of work as well as the enjoyment of true nature. You could see him analyzing our life style and it was a joy to watch him evolve. The kids started out on this path but as they moved on to city life they changed. Their kids were largely ignored in the daily grind to survive. I phones at 6 years old replaced mod and dad. They could fire up a DVD player at four years old but couldn't even talk! Two of them weren't even potty-trained at this age. The oldest one is successfully starting his adult life which I would like to think is a result of our examples we set for him. He is productive and on the way to starting his own family. The old ways weren't perfect but they appear to be better than the new. Please forgive the ramblings of an old man who looks to the past with an aching heart. Peace to everyone.
...Part 1 - What a sad, poorly conceived essay. The worst part is that I agree with about 95% of what the writer has proposed. The education system is corrupt, but then again our entire society is corrupt. There is bad parenting everywhere, from Walmart to Neiman Marcus. The over use of the ADHD tag...and the overuse of drugs is terrible. But for the life of me, I do not understand this adult fascination with beating your child, and I marvel at the corrupt narrative of the digital world being harmful. Let's start with the "discipline" canard. The writer doesn't even know what the word discipline means. Look up the word discipline, and you will find something similar to this..."Discipline shares the root with the word “disciple.” It means to teach or to guide. It does not mean to control or punish". In the adult workplace, when an employee is not performing...does the Boss walk up and "spank" the employee? No...because that's called assault. An employee who is not performing or breaks a rule undergoes "The Disciplinary Process". This is called the coaching, counseling and disciplinary process. It is designed to find solutions to performance issues and to teach, or learn about performing better. During this process Management explains the employee's performance failure and seeks reasons to explain the poor performance. In some cases, this process uncovers failure at the management level, and results in positive changes in the work environment. If you ask an employee why their uniform is always dirty, and they tell you it's because they only have one uniform...good management realizes they have failed, and they insure the employee has 5 uniforms. Thus the performance problem is solved. Other times...management learns something that helps them to better manage the employee, and allows for a shared understanding of what is expected in the future. As one goes through this process, if the problem doesn't get resolved, another meeting will take place where the employee is informed again about their performance issues, and are warned of the consequences of their failure to improve, including suspension or termination. No one beats or assaults anyone. So why is it when it comes to kids, so many adult's first impulse is to beat their child? It's as if the adult is acknowledging that the child is smarter than they, and the only way to "control" the child is to assault them? To the adult abuser...immediate compliance is more important than the development of their child. It's as if they haven't the talent or patience to develop their child in the way they think and act...so let's just beat the child? This writer thinks it's just dandy to beat their child with a "spoon". In other words, she likes to use fear to inspire her child towards better behavior. She is incapable of properly communicating with the child, setting reasonable behavior expectations and boundaries that help to develop the child to think and act on their own, using their developed judgement to decide what is right or wrong. The beating threat is the use of fear to gain compliance. That may work for a while, but then the child learns to lie after they misbehave and become adults who act out of a Child Ego State, never willing to accept responsibility and always blaming others for their negative outcomes. Eventually the child becomes bigger than the adult, and they will physically challenge the parent's authority. Then the child will grow to think of themselves as "alright"...and they too will take pride in beating their child. The dysfunctional cycle then repeats for generations. As a child, I and my siblings were beaten beyond measure. My Father was a six-foot-nine-inch, 350 pound, alcoholic, corrupt Cop, and my Mother an insane, corrupt Court Clerk. My father would beat us with his police or personal belt, his nightstick or black jack...and had a habit of throwing things at the kids, including spearing us in the back with boards, tools and his huge leather shoes. My Mother was also a lover of beating the kids with those wooden spoons, as well as fly swatters, coat hangers, hot wheels tracks, belts, shoes and other kitchen utensils. That was when she wasn't squeezing bottles of liquid ivory soap down our throats. When I was 14 years old, and bigger than she...I grabbed the flyswatter out of her hand and told her if she ever touched me again, I'd kill her where she stood. Three years later she tried that one more time ...and the look of fear in her eyes was priceless. The last time I spoke to my Mom I was 25. She lived to be 82, and we never spoke. My Dad died when I was 21, and we never had any kind of meaningful relationship. I raised three children...and never raised my hand or voice to any of them. All three kids are doing great...and so I just don't get this need to beat your child? It's so counter-productive, as the first time you beat or demean the child from your Parental Ego State, you break the most precious thing between you...trust. As far as the digital issues, again...I just don't get it. It is as if adults are afraid of evolution. Back in the day...long, long ago...books were often considered rare tools of evil to some. Then Gutenberg came along and books became valuable tools for learning. For a long while, books and music were the only forms of entertainment, and then "moving pictures" came along. I can't think of too many modern people who consider good films to be "dangerous", but back then...plenty of people claimed it was the Devil's work! Same for The Radio. When we were kids...our parents would stick us in front of the TV and force us to watch stupid cartoons for hours. I don't think the cartoons harmed us, but I don't think they helped me learn algebra either. So what is it with the fear of digital technology? Yes, it should be monitored and controlled for the age and development of the child, but learning to use the technology only advances the child's development. Imagine a child of today, who 20 years from now can't use a keyboard, a mouse, a computer or other digital technology? Also, imagine that same child who is exposed to such tech in a structured manner, and how far ahead of his peers they will be as they grow and develop. A good parent can use such technology to develop their child...and in the case of younger kids, to withhold access to the tech in instances where they misbehave. Now that's a "Time Out" that really means something to them. Please quit beating your kids. Learn to be better "Disciples"...and learn that beatings or blind, immediate compliance isn't development. Be safe.
Terrific commentary, I love it! You're right on target. The steady decline you describe so well is the convergence of (1) mesmerizing technology, (2) increasing dependence on psychotropic drugs that cause more harm than benefit, and (3) an INTENTIONAL eroding of and attack on high level qualities such as personal responsibility and accountability, honor, integrity, genuine competence (as opposed to the superficial "influencer" facade), reading comprehension, wisdom, spirituality, and recognition that right and wrong do exist objectively. This third set of factors has been and continues to be created by a tiny but powerful percentage of twisted, depraved lunatics in education, politics and medicine. Their influence is all out of proportion to their numbers; unfortunately, the majority pf people accept and submit to their insanities - leading to our current Bizarro World.
We do children a great disservice when misbehavior is not connected with immediate consequences. Whole generations have been deprived of that insight and the collapse around us is the result.
Don Cain, servetheking.org
Yes, I did raise them. The oldest joined the military. By the time he was discharged he was an alcoholic pot head. Alcohol and drugs are something we never ever did. The youngest suffered a severe head injury in an industrial accident. We still support him as much as we can. After the head injury his wife threw him out not wanting to live with what she referred to as "a retard". The kids have been taught to treat him with contempt and she openly defies court ordered visitation rights. We are denied any access to the kids. Ignoramuses like you never look for the whole story just the parts that support your prejudices.
anytime I got out of line I got a boot in the ass smacked in the face or hit with a broom (my mother) and I dont care what anybody says I say that was the right way
Disagree completely on the "spanking spoon," but agree with the overall premise and facts of this piece. As I've asked too many times to count over the last many years, "Who's 𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 these people??"
Probably unintentionally by you but this post made me cry. I have one of those willful three year olds and I find myself crying “but what do I do?”
My 8-year older sister raised me while my RN mother brought home some extra income for the family, retiring to housewife before I noticed. She and my mother started reading to me as soon as I was home from the hospital maternity ward and kept doing so until I could read to them. I entered first grade reading at a third grade level with a junior high vocabulary. My sister assured me that I was spanked a lot before I could be reasoned with, at which point spankings were suspended. I like Temple Grandin on ADHD and Asperger's.
We’re in our 80’s have raised three families the last leaving in our 70’s; ourselves raised obviously in the fifties. Very conflicted parenting issue amongst our 50’s peer, parents were quite imperfect then as well, however due to gross lack of technology we had to ‘make do’ on our own, and did we. Two parents, one working was helpful but my memory was that often we raised ourselves. Today kids our ‘raised’ by others, tech-others, godless instruments of distraction. Today we know a number of home-schooled families and ‘faith’, sacrifice and common sense is an active and effective component raising their very psychologically and well educated kids; God bless your humble spirit.
You are so right!! Our children were raised with love and expectations. We always had dinner together and family time. At bedtime we had reading time. We read to them and later they read to us. When they misbehaved, they were punished, sometimes with a spanking.
Big Pharma seems to have found a medication for every misbehavior. Interestingly we are now discovering that vaccines may indeed be the cause of many of the chronic conditions children suffer including autism, ADHD and many others. Read “Turtles All the Way Down”, written by another anonymous Israeli scientists. Anonymous to remain I cancelled. Also read “The Real Anthony Fauci” by Robert F Kennedy, Jr. Both explain the vaccine myths.