Anything I say in agreement automatically makes me an old fogey! (From old English, ‘forgram,’ slang) I think it will come back to bite those parents though I take scant comfort from that. FWIW kids benefit from adults being adults; limits on their behavior makes them feel safe. Also the more a parent goes through the roster of ‘choices’ the more it feeds the troll of narcissism! I could write a book but I’ll let you do that, I’m busy making art www.juliewende.com
Yes Julie, giving kids too many choices is foolish and is actually more stressful in the end. Hearing parents say "you're making good choices" even bugs me, because it's that same emphasis on the world of "choices" and the idea that little Braxton is always in the driver's seat.
Even though my nephew is a gen-xer, and 49, his son, my great nephew was and is a free-wheeling spoiled brat who is also a motor-mouth. He is 13 yrs old and when I was visiting my brother's home, who is 74, his grandfather, we were sitting in his very pristeen living room, with a white wall to wall carpet and we had chips and salsa and plates. the kid grabbed a chip, dipped it in salsa and proceeded to dance around the room, oblivious of his grandfather's commands to sit down. The father was also sitting there and simply and half-heartedly warned his son of the consequences should he spill any salsa on the carpet. I who am 71 was sitting there fuming. I was raised strictly with the courtesies and respect when you're a guest in someone else's home. We gradually walked toward kitchen for dinner and the kid pushed me from behind with no warning trying to get past and I wheeled on him. "You don't push or shove and you say 'excuse me.' My tone was loud and sharp. He apologized but his parents gave me the evil eye and I have not seen them since on recent visits. No regrets here and my brother appreciated my saying what I did. So, reading your narrative, I am glad we live in the boonies with our manners intact.
These people think that they are being "Christian" and like Jesus, who rejected not the little children. Fine and good, but I am like an old-style Roman pagan (of the Republic, not the Empire) when it comes to telling kids AND THEIR PARENTS what I will put up with in my own house. Actually, I am a kind and gentle artist-type, but I have just worked too hard for what I have to put up with this kind of nonsense and parental insouciance.
Good column. I call this the feminization of society. Men have dropped out. Men would let the kids take their knocks, and give them some, also. I took my knocks and rejections and used them to make something of myself. I have done stuff (laying concrete, bricks, wiring and plumbing houses, scraping off and putting on roofs, etc.) that I would not have thought myself capable of, but I wanted to prove myself. It was necessary for me to prove myself, and it all came from the old-style parenting. And the stuff I did was all real, not electronic.
RE: In the end, only God himself can satisfy kids’ hungry and defiant hearts; and in God’s heart, parents find strength to support their own.
Father God rebirths His beloved children, giving them a new heart: I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a repentant new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the rebellious, self-willed heart of stone from your flesh and give you an obedient heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to faithfully walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my holy will. Ezekiel 36:25-
Don't even get me started...the things I witnessed as a school counsellor will make your eyes bleed. Working with pre-primary to highschool.
One particular instance a 12 year old girl came to see me and claimed that her parents don't care about her. I asked her why she thought this, and she said "because they let me do whatever I want. I can stay out all night, they never ask where I go or what I do..." !!!
RT - this started LOOOOONG ago - and the biggest culprits as a generation were DaBoomers - but NONE of us are exempt from blame - www.crushlimbraw.com - that site tells my story and is just the beginning.
What is actually happening is that more of us are FINALLY beginning to become aware of a process that is hundreds of years old and it all began with Christianity being converged into churchianity.
Ha! I have a list of "potential troublemaker" names that only my children know. When I hear the name, I'm on high alert. Of course, I am pleasantly surprised sometimes, but the list has been amazingly predictive!
Anything I say in agreement automatically makes me an old fogey! (From old English, ‘forgram,’ slang) I think it will come back to bite those parents though I take scant comfort from that. FWIW kids benefit from adults being adults; limits on their behavior makes them feel safe. Also the more a parent goes through the roster of ‘choices’ the more it feeds the troll of narcissism! I could write a book but I’ll let you do that, I’m busy making art www.juliewende.com
Yes Julie, giving kids too many choices is foolish and is actually more stressful in the end. Hearing parents say "you're making good choices" even bugs me, because it's that same emphasis on the world of "choices" and the idea that little Braxton is always in the driver's seat.
Even though my nephew is a gen-xer, and 49, his son, my great nephew was and is a free-wheeling spoiled brat who is also a motor-mouth. He is 13 yrs old and when I was visiting my brother's home, who is 74, his grandfather, we were sitting in his very pristeen living room, with a white wall to wall carpet and we had chips and salsa and plates. the kid grabbed a chip, dipped it in salsa and proceeded to dance around the room, oblivious of his grandfather's commands to sit down. The father was also sitting there and simply and half-heartedly warned his son of the consequences should he spill any salsa on the carpet. I who am 71 was sitting there fuming. I was raised strictly with the courtesies and respect when you're a guest in someone else's home. We gradually walked toward kitchen for dinner and the kid pushed me from behind with no warning trying to get past and I wheeled on him. "You don't push or shove and you say 'excuse me.' My tone was loud and sharp. He apologized but his parents gave me the evil eye and I have not seen them since on recent visits. No regrets here and my brother appreciated my saying what I did. So, reading your narrative, I am glad we live in the boonies with our manners intact.
I think the tail end of Generation X was the "early adopters" of the gentle parenting nonsense. It's amazing how cluelessness has become normalized!
These people think that they are being "Christian" and like Jesus, who rejected not the little children. Fine and good, but I am like an old-style Roman pagan (of the Republic, not the Empire) when it comes to telling kids AND THEIR PARENTS what I will put up with in my own house. Actually, I am a kind and gentle artist-type, but I have just worked too hard for what I have to put up with this kind of nonsense and parental insouciance.
Good column. I call this the feminization of society. Men have dropped out. Men would let the kids take their knocks, and give them some, also. I took my knocks and rejections and used them to make something of myself. I have done stuff (laying concrete, bricks, wiring and plumbing houses, scraping off and putting on roofs, etc.) that I would not have thought myself capable of, but I wanted to prove myself. It was necessary for me to prove myself, and it all came from the old-style parenting. And the stuff I did was all real, not electronic.
RE: In the end, only God himself can satisfy kids’ hungry and defiant hearts; and in God’s heart, parents find strength to support their own.
Father God rebirths His beloved children, giving them a new heart: I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a repentant new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the rebellious, self-willed heart of stone from your flesh and give you an obedient heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to faithfully walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my holy will. Ezekiel 36:25-
Don't even get me started...the things I witnessed as a school counsellor will make your eyes bleed. Working with pre-primary to highschool.
One particular instance a 12 year old girl came to see me and claimed that her parents don't care about her. I asked her why she thought this, and she said "because they let me do whatever I want. I can stay out all night, they never ask where I go or what I do..." !!!
RT - this started LOOOOONG ago - and the biggest culprits as a generation were DaBoomers - but NONE of us are exempt from blame - www.crushlimbraw.com - that site tells my story and is just the beginning.
What is actually happening is that more of us are FINALLY beginning to become aware of a process that is hundreds of years old and it all began with Christianity being converged into churchianity.
“Braxton”? That says it all.
Ha! I have a list of "potential troublemaker" names that only my children know. When I hear the name, I'm on high alert. Of course, I am pleasantly surprised sometimes, but the list has been amazingly predictive!